Makes people feel like they’re being shouted at
They become automatically defensive
Arguments quickly become about “being right” and not about sharing viewpoints.
Rather, try the empathic approach to the same thing you think is unacceptable
“There’s something that really bothers me. And, you might now even be aware of it, because of a few unfortunate circumstances. But, if we all thought a little differently about it, we might be able to make a real, meaningful difference together on something that, I really believe, matters a great deal.
Talk about bob, and how people actually have little webpages they copy and paste from some “higher arts of arguing” source where, instead of even engaging you, they just post the “Derailing by “hostility”” section and automatically, by divine decree, identify the technique you have tried to use, and thus nullified your entire standpoint. “Don’t mess with me, its subtext reads, “I fight about shit all the time and I’m good at it!”
I think that’s sad. That trying to “prove” other people wrong is such a big part of so many people’s experience of each other..